Heaven's Sweet Princess

Harper Alexis Drennan flew from this world on September 21, at 3:05 in the morning. She weighed 7 oz., and measured in at about 9 inches. To say she is missed would be the understatement of a lifetime, my heart aches so badly, I would love to hold her just one more time. I have felt loss before, but I do not know if I have ever felt so sad saying goodbye. It is not because I grieve for Harper, she lives in paradise, I grieve for all of us here going on without her. We never got to really know her, who would she be like? Docile and kind like her daddy? A beautiful firecracker like her mommy? We will never know here on Earth, and that hurts. I cannot begin to express my gratitude sufficiently to Kelsey and Noah for allowing me to get to know Harper, when they were only given a few hours with her Earthly body.

To be really honest, I feared what a twenty week old baby from the womb would look like, and I regretfully was hesitant to hold her and love her at first entering the room. Once I let myself really look at her I was smitten, she was beautiful. Harper had her mommy’s little nose; she had her daddy’s big ears and definitely had his toes. These feet were absolutely the most precious thing I had ever seen, her little toes were so long and I was told they match her daddy’s perfectly. She had this little mouth, that was slightly open and her tongue just barely poked out. I loved her mouth, probably to the point of mild obsession, I just did not want to forget it so I had to etch it into my memory. There is someone at the hospital that makes clothes for babies like Harper, and it was beautiful. She was in a white girly gown , and she had a perfect little white hat to cover her head. What I do know is that though she looked so sweet and pretty yesterday, it does not even compare to how incredible she looks with those angel wings on up in Heaven. If you know Kelsey, you know she is “Queen of Bling,” and you better believe those wings are bedazzled just like her mommy’s will be.

As far as her birth, Kelsey endured a very long, rough day. She had an epidural that did not work perfectly, and a very achy body. She was tired and weary, as well as completely starved. This does sound like most birth stories you hear, but the difference being she would endure all of this pain and suffering and still the outcome would be the same. Kelsey was so strong and had her usual wit about her all day, Noah really was a strong loving husband all day. At three in the morning, when she came, they became the perfect parents. I wish everyone could see how they were with their little princess. The love in their eyes and the way they would just stare at her with smiles on their faces as tears ran down their cheeks, it was perfect. I have said often in the past week I would grieve for Harper that she would miss out on such incredible, loving parents. Harper knows them, she knows how wonderful they are, she is not being physically held by them any longer, but she is with them. She will not miss a thing. I grieve for Kelsey and Noah’s empty arms, I grieve for their broken hearts, I grieve for their empty house without a baby to console. Although I hoped everybody’s prayers were going to work to create a miracle in this sweet baby, that was not to be, so now I hope that these prayers bring peace and strength to the Drennan/ Hackler families. I hope they feel the Lord’s love surround them and feel Harper’s presence in the little things in life, may it be rainbows or butterflies, I know they will find her.

Harper Alexis was precious, far to precious for this world!