And he shall be called...

Pierce Andrew Nolte!

I know this is not coming as a shock to many of you, since we speak often and we have talked about it! I just felt that it needed to be made official, so now he is no longer baby John Doe!!! We debated the name for quite awhile, we loved Hudson, but I felt like since we were not going to make him a Paul III, we would honor my incredible husband by giving him the same initials! I figure we will have another boy in the future, and Hudson he will be!

As I sit here right now, I can visibly see my shirt moving as he kicks, and kicks, and kicks! I do not think I could ever get tired of this feeling! I know everyone says just wait until he is kicking your ribs, but I will be thankful even then! I praise God for every movement, even for all the lovely pregnancy symptoms, because I know the alternative. I have watched my best friend suffer the loss of her angel baby, I have greived for a life we never got to know. Tomorrow will be one whole week since precious Harper went to be with the Lord, I can honestly say I miss her more now than last week. Kelsey has had to still endure the signs of motherhood, and that is a reminder of what could have been. I got to spend all day Friday with her and we had a wonderful girls night, she is by far the strongest person I know! Her and Noah are definitely missing their princess, but they have held on to the hope that God bless them with a child that they will raise and get to see grow into a wonderful person! Pray for them that her body heals quickly and that their journey to bring a baby home is a quick, positive experience when the time is right!

Be on the lookout for pics of his nursery in the upcoming blog! It is not done, but has come a long way! Just finished up the closet this morning thanks to Pierce's incredible Mimi (my mom), we actually should have a pretty organized nursery! I have no idea what we would do without her!

Heaven's Sweet Princess

Harper Alexis Drennan flew from this world on September 21, at 3:05 in the morning. She weighed 7 oz., and measured in at about 9 inches. To say she is missed would be the understatement of a lifetime, my heart aches so badly, I would love to hold her just one more time. I have felt loss before, but I do not know if I have ever felt so sad saying goodbye. It is not because I grieve for Harper, she lives in paradise, I grieve for all of us here going on without her. We never got to really know her, who would she be like? Docile and kind like her daddy? A beautiful firecracker like her mommy? We will never know here on Earth, and that hurts. I cannot begin to express my gratitude sufficiently to Kelsey and Noah for allowing me to get to know Harper, when they were only given a few hours with her Earthly body.

To be really honest, I feared what a twenty week old baby from the womb would look like, and I regretfully was hesitant to hold her and love her at first entering the room. Once I let myself really look at her I was smitten, she was beautiful. Harper had her mommy’s little nose; she had her daddy’s big ears and definitely had his toes. These feet were absolutely the most precious thing I had ever seen, her little toes were so long and I was told they match her daddy’s perfectly. She had this little mouth, that was slightly open and her tongue just barely poked out. I loved her mouth, probably to the point of mild obsession, I just did not want to forget it so I had to etch it into my memory. There is someone at the hospital that makes clothes for babies like Harper, and it was beautiful. She was in a white girly gown , and she had a perfect little white hat to cover her head. What I do know is that though she looked so sweet and pretty yesterday, it does not even compare to how incredible she looks with those angel wings on up in Heaven. If you know Kelsey, you know she is “Queen of Bling,” and you better believe those wings are bedazzled just like her mommy’s will be.

As far as her birth, Kelsey endured a very long, rough day. She had an epidural that did not work perfectly, and a very achy body. She was tired and weary, as well as completely starved. This does sound like most birth stories you hear, but the difference being she would endure all of this pain and suffering and still the outcome would be the same. Kelsey was so strong and had her usual wit about her all day, Noah really was a strong loving husband all day. At three in the morning, when she came, they became the perfect parents. I wish everyone could see how they were with their little princess. The love in their eyes and the way they would just stare at her with smiles on their faces as tears ran down their cheeks, it was perfect. I have said often in the past week I would grieve for Harper that she would miss out on such incredible, loving parents. Harper knows them, she knows how wonderful they are, she is not being physically held by them any longer, but she is with them. She will not miss a thing. I grieve for Kelsey and Noah’s empty arms, I grieve for their broken hearts, I grieve for their empty house without a baby to console. Although I hoped everybody’s prayers were going to work to create a miracle in this sweet baby, that was not to be, so now I hope that these prayers bring peace and strength to the Drennan/ Hackler families. I hope they feel the Lord’s love surround them and feel Harper’s presence in the little things in life, may it be rainbows or butterflies, I know they will find her.

Harper Alexis was precious, far to precious for this world!

Harper

I write this second post with a heart that is broken to pieces.I hoped that this post, when the time came, would be one of joy and gratitude to God for a miracle...unfortuantely that is not the case.


Kelsey and Noah got the call from the Dr. at UCLA yesterday afternoon, then went on to talk to both her high-risk and regular ob/gyn. The diagnosis is Osteogenesis Imperfecta Type II, also known as Brittle Bone Disease. There are many different types of OI, but type II is the most severe and is almost always lethal in the perinatal period. The specialist that reviewed the case had no question as to if her diagnosis was correct or not, Miss Harper has already suffered multiple fractures while in utero and her bones are not calcifying in her skull, along with other huge issues in bone development.

I am not sure what will happen from here, but I know that Kelsey, Noah, and the doctors will make the best possible decision for Harper and her comfort. They are aware that though her nerves are not as developed as ours, she does feel pain. This will only progress as she develops, and that definitley changes things for these incredible parents.

I mourn for Kelsey, Noah and Christopher, and the plans they had for this sweet baby. I mourn for the amazing parents that Harper is going to miss out on. I mourn for a mom and dad that will not get all the milestones that child brings. I mourn for best friends that are truly hurting right now. I mourn for the Hackler's and the Drennan's, for the loss of grandchild/niece they are going to be experienceing. I mourn for all of their friends, which is incredibly numerous, because we all felt such excitement for this couple. I think I felt the same excitement upon hearing Kelsey's exciting news as I did for my own. Background story is that Kelsey and Noah suffered a miscarriage in January of 2009; following that they tried unsuccessfully for close to a year and a half to get pregnant! Finally, along with Clomid, they got that positive pregnancy test they had been praying for! We all were so ecstatic for them, but for me it also meant that I would have a best friend to go through this pregnancy with, which is an amazing feeling. So now I mourn. I mourn that we are not in this together, I mourn that one of my baby's best friends is now going to heaven before they even got to have their first playdate, I mourn that I will never hold Harper and get to love on her.

I cannot even begin to fathom how this family is feeling right now in light of something so devastating, but I know that all of them have a strong, unwavering faith and they will get to place of solace and comfort. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for them, pray for strength, pray for comfort, pray for peace, and pray for sanity.

More information to come soon!

23 week survey!

Turn on the radio and sway to the music. With her sense of movement well developed by now, your baby can feel you dance. And now that she's more than 11 inches long and weighs just over a pound, you may be able to see her squirm underneath your clothes. Blood vessels in her lungs are developing to prepare for breathing, and the sounds that your baby's increasingly keen ears pick up are preparing her for entry into the outside world. Loud noises that become familiar now — such as your dog barking or the roar of the vacuum cleaner — probably won't faze her when she hears them outside the womb.

How far along? 23 weeks and 1 day, only 14 weeks and 6 days until he is here!

Weight Gain: 6 lbs total still, no weight gain this week...I am eating carbs trying to gain, but I am back to being sick, so nothing helps!

Maternity Clothes: I'm loving them! For the girls/women out there that allow maternity clothes to make them self conscious and cannot wait to be back in their pre-pregnancy clothes....I say rock those bad boys! I love my maternity clothes! But we are also talking about the girl who could not wait to be sporting the big prego belly! I heart being pregnant!

Gender: Still a boy! and I think he has a name! We will officially announce it later this week!

Movement: : )!!!! He moves like a crazy man now, and I cannot get enough of it! I feel it really well when I lay very still on my back! So what does Courtney do all day now? If you guessed clean, you are wrong!!! I lay on my back waiting for little man to kick or flip or punch, I'll take anything! Now don't pity Paul, I do try to fit a little housework in, here and there!

Sleep: Well sleep involves laying still, which means he will move, so I do not sleep anymore either! When he settles down I go to sleep so I am getting "enough," I just hate to miss a single moment! The good news is he is significantly less active at night, so maybe by some miracle he is actual going to not have his nights and days mixed up like so many newborns! Hey we can at least dream!

Symptoms: Terrible acid reflux and heartburn! Which in turn gives Mommy morning/day sickness again!

Best Moments this week: Finally feeling him kick consistently!!! (I normally try to find more moments, but nothing even comes close to this!)

Food Aversions: Eggs is my newest one this week

Food Cravings: Crackers and cream cheese, cheesecake, bagels and cream cheese! Basically what I am saying is put cream cheese on/in something and I am a happy hippo!

What I miss: Having my best friend to share this pregnancy with...more on that in the next post

What I am Looking forward to: December, I cannot wait to meet him!

Milestones: One more week closer! Movement!

22 weeks!

At 11 inches and almost 1 pound, your baby is starting to look like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more distinct, and he's even developing tiny tooth buds beneath his gums. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part of the eye) still lack pigment. If you could see inside your womb, you'd be able to spot the fine hair (lanugo) that covers his body and the deep wrinkles on his skin, which he'll sport until he adds a padding of fat to fill them in. Inside his belly, his pancreas — essential for the production of some important hormones — is developing steadily.

How far along? 22 weeks

Baby’s Size: 11" in length and weighing in today at 1 lb. 2 oz.

Weight Gain: 6 lbs...though you would think ly seeing this rather large belly that i had gained 35

Maternity Clothes: that's all I can wear, but I actually kind of dig them! They are sooo comfy!!

Gender: Still a boy! Don't worry I asked my high risk today, apparently little boys "things" do not just fall off! So I am still good on all the clothes and decor!

Movement: I have only felt little man move once (I think), we were on the boat and he started kicking. I think he might not have loved the shaking and bumping up and down, Paul took it as he is a boat man, which is wonderful by me!

Sleep: Not great, I am pretty uncomfortable

Symptoms: Terrible acid reflux and heartburn! Doctor said it could definitely mean lots of hair, we shall see!

Best Moments this week: Feeling him kick on the boat, and getting to see his precious little self today at my dr's appt. He was jazz handing and kicking those little feet, he has very long fingers and toes! Dr. said he could not be more perfect if we tried!!!

Food Aversions: red sauce (spaghetti and pizza)

Food Cravings: Mexican and Thai, and Sour Patch Kids

What I miss: Sleep and pre-reflux days!

What I am Looking forward to: Meeting the little man is definitely making me impatient these days! Finishing the nursery would be very very exciting too (hint hint my dear husband)! Only 7 weeks until my first shower!!

Milestones: One more week closer! A kick on the boat, I take what I can get!

21 weeks!

"Baby gulps down several ounces of amniotic fluid every day, both for hydration and nutrition and to practice swallowing and digesting. And, these days, those taste buds actually work! Studies show that after birth, babies are most interested in tastes they've already experienced through amniotic fluid. Meaning, think about what you want your future child to eat as you prepare your own lunch."

How far along?

21 weeks

Baby’s Size:

A banana. This is the first week that baby is measured from head to foot, not head to rump. He is now 10.5" long and over half a pound.

Total Weight Gain?

I have not gained too much based on my pre-pregnancy weight, but I do not know how much I lost in the beginning.

Maternity Clothes?

Yep...all maternity pants! I do still wear empire waisted sundresses, which is my normal uniform as a stay at home wife!

Gender?

BOY! Little man was not shy!

Movement?

I think I might have felt the first little kick last night, but I am not sure. I unfortunately have a very active digestive system!

Sleep?

I actually have been sleeping better this week! I know I need to cherish this time because I am very sure it will be gone before I know it.

Symptoms?

I really have not had any terrible symptoms this week excpet for a little nausea here and there. I am beginning to get heartburn pretty frequently...will he have lots of hair????HMMM

Best Moments this week?

Getting the little man's room started! It is feeling like a nursery and I am beginning to feel like this is real!

Food Aversions?

Peanut butter no longer does the trick, it has reversed its effects

Food Cravings?

I want mexican food and chocolate!

What I miss?

I feel like something is squishing my lungs, so miss being able to breathe efficiently!

What I am Looking forward to?

My appointment next Wednesday and getting to see the little man!

Milestones?

One more week down! Only seventeen to go!